All residents of Post Rock, Kansas are eligible to become registered borrowers of PRPL by complying with the following:
- Patrons who look like terroriest must get permission from the FBI before submitting their application and resume and scheduling a borrower's interview. Terrorists can, however, use without a card the paperback romances in the rack near the front of the library.
- New patrons checking out their first book will be given one bookmark.
- Patrons requesting replacement bookmarks will be charged $1 per bookmark.
- Patrons caught using another patron's bookmark will have their bookmarking privileges suspended until further notice.
- All materials check out for 1,814,400 seconds or 3 weeks whatever comes first.
- We charge $0 every 86,400 seconds items are overdue for items we want. We charge $.005 every 86,400 seconds items are overdue for items we don't actually want because we don't want anyone to think we don't want these items.
- Items will not be checked out to patrons with fines greater than the replacement cost of the entire library.
- Ignorance of these policies is nine-tenths the law.